It's a........!!!!

After weeks and months of waiting, last Thursday I was finally able to find out the gender of our sweet baby! Now, if you remember a few posts back I mentioned that there was a story behind us finding out the sex of our baby. Well - here it is:

Chris and I had discussed long before we were expecting if either of us had the desire to know early what gender our baby was or if either of us wanted it to be a surprise. Well, our decision was split. Chris wanted it to be a surprise and I, who have the worst patience in the world, wanted to find out as early as possible. Our decisions still stand today the way they did when we first discussed it. So, Chris and I decided that I would find out the sex of the baby, and he would wait to be surprised and find out the day our baby was born. Now, I know what you're thinking. How is this going to work? Well, we're not too sure either. Every one who knows this plan, thinks we're nuts and that I'll never be able to hold this big secret without letting something slip. I guess we'll see. So far so good. I have planned that, for the nursery and baby shower everything will stay gender neutral. Anything gender oriented I receive or buy, will be put away in a box. What if Chris looks in the box??? Well, if Chris wants to know, he can/will look in the box. This is not a secret I am hiding from him. This is a secret he chooses to not know and I will do my best to help him in not knowing. So, until then we call the baby "he", just as we always have since we found out I was pregnant. Thankfully we have already discussed names, so no extra time will have to be spent on 'pretending'. And if Chris happens to find out from any of the number of ways possible, then he has already said it won't be the worst thing in the world, which actually leaves me stress free.

Week 17 So, unfortunately, I will not be revealing our baby's gender. But, feel free to take a guess on what you think we're having at the end of my post!!! Now, what I can tell you is how great our baby is doing! Little baby G is right on track in all measurements. He/she was just kicking away as we watched our baby jump around on the ultrasound screen, but still not feeling anything yet. Our ultrasound tech wrote me a note in an envelope at the end of our appointment revealing the gender of our baby. Oh, and you can bet I ripped that envelope open the moment I was away from Chris. Although I had my suspicions, I literally squealed with delight!

On a serious note, the day of our ultrasound, I started having contractions throughout the day and into the weekend. Turns out after discussions with my doctors, the contractions I was having were not Braxton Hicks, but were symptoms of preterm labor. Luckily the contractions have subsided and I am feeling better after a couple days of rest, but for now I am under strict orders to watch my activity level while medications are in consideration to prevent any further preterm labor complications. All we can do is follow orders and pray that God prepares our hearts for whatever He has in store for us, good or bad.

*Unfortunately this post is a week late, due to wanting to upload recent pictures. Since that time, I have lost my phone so no updated pictures on baby bump or ultrasound can be posted at this time.

Diary of a Pregnant Woman

*This post is in no way meant to cast judgment or offend.

I’d like to believe there are 3 types of pregnant women out there:

Type 1: The overly excited pregnant woman. This woman gladly changes her diet and schedule to give her life to her pregnancy. This type of woman is gleefully thrilled in the act of being pregnant and loves all the changes her body overtakes. She can’t wait to go maternity clothes shopping and has started her baby scrapbook long before there is anything to record. These women are constantly overcome with happiness, die hard optimists, and found pregnancy blissful and easy. After she has had the baby, she is disappointed she is no longer pregnant because she loved it that much. These women probably did not have much difficulty during their pregnancy so they may have nothing to complain about.

Type 2: The cynical pregnant woman. Now don’t get me wrong. These women are happy that a child is blessing their lives, they, however, are disgusted with the changes in their bodies and dread the 30 pounds they will eventually put on. They change their diets reluctantly and try to squeeze into those pre-pregnancy jeans for as long as possible before even setting foot in the maternity section of JC Penny. They often complain about constipation, sciatic nerve pain, and find it difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel, overcome with hormonal distress. These women often had a difficult or miserable pregnancy, full of growing pains, sickness that lasted longer than the usual first trimester, or symptoms that never ended.

Then there is Type 3: The middle of the road pregnant woman, where I feel I belong. Although my pregnancy hasn’t been difficult, I will admit that I have not thoroughly enjoyed the act of being pregnant. While I have feelings of excitement of baby names, baby bump, and nursery decorating, I have also found it to be awkward and uncomfortable, while feeling overwhelmed with fear, worry, self doubt, and confusion. As a junk foodaholic it has been very hard to restrict my diet and it was nearly depressing to try on maternity shirts. Yes, these women are more than thankful for the blessing of a child and gladly look forward to the future of a family, although may have difficulty to understand what is happening to their bodies and find themselves feeling unsure of their own emotions (okay, this may cover 98% of all pregnant women). Specifically, I for one have had a difficult time strengthening my relationship with God and connecting to my unborn baby on an emotional and spiritual level (how do you connect to a baby you can't see, hold, or feel - yet?). Many may find that becoming pregnant has brought God into their lives, while I often find myself searching for Him. Yes, it is easy to say that God has blessed Chris and me with a baby and He has been good to us, but what does this mean in my spiritual walk with Him? How do I find His beauty in my physical pain? I want to go beyond the cliché of “I am blessed” and search for reasoning and depth in my relationship with Him. Go deeper into finding the answers on how this fulfills God’s orders.

Thankfully I stumbled across a book as Chris and I were looking for a wedding card at our local Christian book store, called ‘Creating with God’. 

Now, this book may not be for everyone. It was, however, the answer I had been looking for. Sarah Jobe is an entertaining and humorous Baptist pastor married to a devout Catholic man, who explores the messiness of pregnancy and helps readers find God in places where it is least expected, i.e. during those bouts of morning sickness, those days of pure exhaustion, and the mirror of self-consciousness. She effortlessly combines relatable personal experiences to the word of God and the actions of Christ. Sarah Jobe reminds us that although He has given us the miracle of birth, He has also given us the miracle of salvation. As I continually long to walk in His ways and allow His will to be done in my life, I was purely moved by a caption in one of the chapters which reads,

“Waiting for my coming daughter meant learning to live with a driving desire for an event that I couldn’t control. I desired relief from the pain of pregnancy and the anticipated pain of labor. I desired to meet the little person who had so radically changed my life, and I desired the start of the new life I would have with her. Waiting for a child meant waiting for the fulfillment of a promised blessing I didn’t deserve and a coming burden I couldn’t image. In my final weeks of pregnancy, not knowing when my daughter would come meant that every moment could be the moment she came. This is how Jesus wants us to wait for him.”

This paragraph will continue to resonate with me, as I continue to find a deeper meaning in my pregnancy. This book has helped renew my understanding of patience and faith in believing in the unseen. It has helped remove my fear and worry of what will become of me and my body through this experience. While we may pray for a baby, or a house, or a job, or the lottery, are we praying for God’s will to be done in our lives regardless of the struggle? Are we praying for acceptance of God’s timing and peace in His holy plan for us regardless of our selfish requests? The bible reminds us that God knows the secrets and desires of our hearts, and although we may plan our course, it is He who directs our steps. (Proverbs 19:21)

Farewell Misery

Aw, finally - the second trimester. Pure bliss. My days of constant worry are gone (for now) and I am able to enjoy the feelings of being pregnant for the first time. No more feelings of nausea. Gone are the days of food aversions. Goodbye superpower of smell. Welcome back normalsy (again, for now)! As I reach my 15th week, I look forward to the weeks ahead of a growing belly and finally being able to find out the sex of our baby! Now, this finding out the sex of the baby issue is a-whole-nother post, when the time comes nearer (two weeks from today to be exact!!!). Until then, on with this week's baby news!

Week 15: Why hello baby bump!

Ok, although it's tiny, it's there! Although most days in normal wear, I feel more bloated than pregnant and feel as though I look that way too. Talk about an awkward stage. Much like my teen years, growing from preteen to young adult - yeesh. Even though it may not seem like it, my clothes have gotten tighter over the past few months. But I'm afraid to say it is not from a growing baby, but those pesky months of morning sickness when I did nothing but lay around and eat comfort food (when I could get it down). So, I'm easing my way back into easy workouts and chomping down on those fruits and veggies!! I even signed up for a prenatal yoga class once a week, and let me tell ya, I can sure tell this girl hasn't done much moving these past months! Now no worries, I'm not pushing myself, just trying my best at staying healthy!

As far as I know, our little button is a healthy busy bee. He/she is about 4 inches long and weighs about 2 1/2 ounces - about the size of an apple. He/she is moving amniotic fluid through the nose and upper respiratory tract, which helps the primitive air sacs in the lungs begin to develop. The legs are growing longer than the arms now, and baby can move all of his/her joints and limbs. Although the eyes are fused shut, bean can sense light. If you shine a flashlight at my tummy, for instance, our baby's likely to move away from the beam. Pretty cool, huh?!