A whole new outlook

Merry late Christmas! This holiday season has had it's up and downs and to be honest, I am happy it is over. Although it was a great time spending 3 days with my parents and family, there was so much to look forward to and if anyone knows me I'm incredibly impatient, so I'm really happy I no longer have to count down the hours until I saw them! I will say that 3 days was not long enough and I hope to see them again very soon. One great thing about being home, was being able to share our baby experiences with them in person. Chris and I were lucky enough to have another ultrasound at 12 weeks and Chris caught our baby on film from his phone. Sorry, but I will not be posting the video in this blog, as this moment is too personal and dear to Chris and I. BUT, I will tell you all about instead! Almost just as good....almost :)

It is so crazy to think that our little plum sized 12 week old baby (now almost 13 weeks) is a full bodied little human, equipped with all working parts. So, as I have yet to show and obviously yet to feel our baby, it's difficult to think that something is actually going on in there (as in, my belly). But, just as quickly our ultrasound started, we witnessed a squirmy, wiggle worm within my tummy. No, not a tape worm, but our baby. Now, let me tell you, our little baby is a mover and a shaker! Wow! Chris is convinced our baby is warming up his arms and legs for those long strides on the track when he/she's older. Watching our baby move was the most amazing, incredible thing I have ever seen. To think that all of that was going on inside of me, was beyond moving. I didn't cry, but instead was smiling ear to ear until the end of the day. Chris and I both said we could of stayed there and just watched our baby all day long.

So, I find myself daydreaming about what my baby is doing and how much he/she is moving today. As some have asked, yes, this makes this whole pregnancy seem that much more real. It gives me a different outlook on the things I'm suppose to be doing, because now I've seen why I'm doing these things and I have a better appreciation for them. These early months have been difficult to connect myself emotionally to the idea of a baby, due to being sick all the time, lack of baby bump or feeling of the baby, so it felt almost like I wasn't pregnant at all. Now, as the weeks progress, I am able to fully recognize the emotional connection between the baby and myself and I know that it will only get better from here.

Surprise!

If you are reading this you must of received our holiday Christmas card or have heard the announcement through the grapevine that we are pregnant! We are so excited to finally be able to share this exciting time with you all! Let me tell ya, keeping this secret was hard!!! But, it's all out in the open now so let the fun and catching up begin!
Hint: It's best to start from the beginning of this blog to fill yourselves in on all the exciting details (some not so exciting, sorry to say).

Week 11: Although it was a difficult time this past weekend to share this kind of news with his family, as Chris' father had surgery on Friday to remove the neuroendocrine tumor from his liver. We hope we were able to share some hope for the future in our news for new life. Chris' father is doing well, while recovery is slow. Please continue to hold him and his family in your prayers. Please visit my newlywed page here for more information on Bill and his progress.

As for Chris and I, we are in week 11 of our pregnancy. Thankfully the light at the end of this first trimester tunnel is in sight! Baby is looking more and more human every day. The most exciting milestone - baby bean (hopefully) has all 10 individual fingers and toes (no more webbed hands and feet!). Our baby is about 2 inches in length and is the size of a fig. Although I can't feel it yet, our baby is kicking his/her legs and moving those arms. Work it out, baby bean!

I continue to have my morning sickness up and downs, while headaches seem to plague my every day. But, overall I feel better than weeks past and I'm looking forward to the next couple of weeks! Up ahead: 12 week ultrasound and getting to hear our baby's heart beat for the first time!

What to expect...

Oh...sooooo making Chris go see this with me!

*What to Expect When You're Expecting

Google is the enemy

Week 10: One may think that reaching the end of the first trimester and disappearing pregnancy symptoms may be a sigh of relief, although for me as a constant worrier, it has been a nightmare. These past few weeks I've been praying to feel 'normal' again and the days that I do, I find myself asking for the morning sickness back in hesitation that something must be wrong. As much as Chris tries to comfort my fears by telling me that it's just my "equilibrium resetting" and reminding me that it is normal to gradually lose some of my symptoms as I near my second trimester, I can't fight my anxieties - that and countless hours on googling researching possible explanations don't help my situation. I will admit that so far pregnancy has not been fun. Although, I continue to tell myself to be thankful for this experience, for as miserable as I may feel at times, I know there are plenty of women in the world who would give anything for this experience as their dreams of starting a family may not be fulfilled.

Well, my anxieties were put to rest just as Chris and I were heading out the door to the zoo just this past Saturday, when I suddenly decided I should eat something and noticed I couldn't stomach the idea of eating. Then the nausea hit. The glorious pregnancy symptom was back and I was strangely relieved.....for about an hour. Then I said out loud, "Okay, mommy gets it! You're doing good in there!" as Chris glances at me in his 'Why don't you believe that I'm always right' look. A moment for my husband to enjoy when I admit that yes, he was right. I would like to think I had a breakthrough in my hypochondriac ways (minus my google search of dyseusia last night - note previous post) and my mind is finally at peace...for now.

Just as this blog entry turns into a novel, I continue on with baby Gannon's progress. Still no baby bump, but I have noticed a difference in the feeling of my belly - a bit of a tightness when I push on it, so I hope the bump is coming soon! :) Now don't quote me on this and remind me in several months when I wish the opposite. Now, baby's joints are beginning to form and so are my baby's teeth buds. He/she is currently the size of a prune and (t.m.i coming up) my uterus is the size of a small grapefruit.

*Coming up on the Gannon schedule: another ultrasound next week and a drive home to Kansas to spend Christmas with the Noriega's!!!

Check and check

Just when I thought that I had every possible pregnancy symptom in the book, I was unpleasently surprised last night when I noticed another difference in my everyday life. As I tried several attempts to relieve my back again morning sickness (note post above), I noticed that all the foods I was eating tasted funny: strawberry toast, melba toast crackers, even pears! Everything tasted bitter and just plain "wrong". I couldn't finish anything I started after the first bite. So, as you all can guess - I googled it. Turns out, I had missed this common symptom from whattoexpect.com, called dysgeusia. Dysgueusia is described as having a change in taste buds and an occurring metallic-like taste in the mouth. Although I do not have an occurring metallic-taste in my mouth (thank goodness), food does not taste the same. So to add to my list of occuring pregnancy symptoms:

1. Morning Sickness - (All day) nausea

2. Food cravings/Food aversions

3. Lack of sleep/Fatigue

4. Restless leg

5. Dizziness

6. Headaches

7. Dysgueusia

8. You get the picture and I choose to spare you from the more embarrassing ones (hey, I am pregnant!)

Now, for an even more exciting bonus, here is a list of foods and smells in which I may never be able to view the same again:

1. Pears and cottage cheese

2. Chicken Noodle Soup

3. Saltines

4. Gingerale/Sprite/7up

5. Peaches

6. Soups from panera

7. Dial body lotion

8. Saltines (yes, twice)

9. BBQ beef from the crockpot

Yes, I am sure these thing will change and subside over time, but that time can't get here soon enough!!!

Just truckin' along....

Week 9: This last Friday was our first OB appointment. We have been fortunate enough to get in to see the doctor we originally wanted when we thought they wouldn't take our insurance. Come to find out, they have recently contracted with BlueCross BlueShield and we are now in the clear! Meeting with our doctor went well, although she is also pregnant (16 weeks) which leaves me with concerns, but for now we'll see how things play out. Chris was able to make the appointment, which was great, although awkward during examination time!!! In the end, everything looked good and my doctor was able to write me 2 prescriptions for my nausea! I was so excited I was practically skipping to my car from the doctor's office! We are set for our next appointment in 4 weeks and another ultrasound at the 12 week mark to take a double look at a solid mass on my right ovary which the ultrasound lady didn't tell me about (apparently she's not allowed to). Good news is that whatever it may be will not affect the baby. More news to follow.

Our baby bean is now a fetus!!! Baby has ended the embryonic stage and is starting the fetal stage, where he/she now has all the organs and body parts of a human being (no more tadpole tail!). Of course these organs and body parts are in the early stages and need plenty of fine tuning over the next few months. Bean is now 1 inch long which is about the size of a grape and is weighing only a fracture of an ounce. Of course I'm not anywhere close to showing yet, but I will admit that sweats are my new best friend as my jeans have begun to add pressure to my belly. Imagine you've finished your latest Thankgiving meal: turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, green bean casserole, cranberries, sweet potato casserole, and a piece of pumpkin pie with a side of jello and whipped cream . You know the feeling. The feeling directly after where you can't move from your chair and you unbutton your pants just to breathe. You're uncomfortable, sleepy, and have a belly ache. Welcome to my life. Although, without the luxury of actually eating. I started my prescription pills today and so far have felt minimal nausea, but still have little appetite. Not complaining - I will any relief that I can get! Only 3 more weeks until the end of my first trimester, where I hear the fun really begins and I can't wait!

*Note: I did not take this picture, nor does it belong to me.

Much to be thankful for

This year was a very thankful Thanksgiving. Chris and I spent the holiday at his parent's house with his brother, sister and her husband. The drive down was a rough one as I already suffer from years of motion sickness, then slap on a couple weeks of morning sickness and we have a recipe for disaster. At this point we had no intentions of sharing our good news just yet, but it was looking as if we may not have a choice due to my lack of ability to pull off a such a lie, i.e. pretending to feel okay when I obviously did not. Yes, we could of easily said I didn't feel well, which wouldn't of been a stretch, but I was more concerned of the obvious. Just as my coworkers had figured out, I was worried his mother would figure out our little secret once I was rushing to the restroom to vomit every time I smelt the turkey or other normally delicious Thanksgiving foods. And, I was right. The moment we walked in the door, me carrying my pillow and a sack of saltines, Chris' mother pulled Chris aside to ask if there was something she should know. Chris, who has become a pro at this secret business told her no, but she later confessed she had her suspicions. Throughout the day I did my best to be helpful, breathing out my mouth and staring at Chris when my mother in law asked me to arrange the green olives and pickles. After a quick discussion with Chris and admitting I didn't know how much longer I could do this, we decided to let our family in on the gig. So, while sitting around the dinner table with full bellies, Chris let out the words, "I lied. You're going to be grandparents." I was just as shocked as his family, as there was no leading up to it, there was no discussion before hand, or sentimental words as a prelude. So long story short, his parents could not have been more happy and excited, as his brother had already known since he has been living with us.
The rest of the day played out as usual and after another disastrous drive home we decided to wait until the next day to tell my family as they were getting a late start to their meal far away back in Kansas. Telling my family over speaker phone was not ideal, but it was still a special moment. Yesterday I was able to talk to my parents individually to further fill them in on the details and answer their questions. All in all, this has been a special holiday in which we have so much to be thankful for. We have wonderful and supportive family who love us deeply. We have healthy bodies to carry us through these next few months. We have been given a miracle we weren't expecting, but somehow has turned into a blessing. And we have an everlasting God who's love is never ending. 

It has been a nice weight lifted off the shoulders to now be able to share in this experience with those we love. As for the rest of our friends and family, you'll soon be reading this after Christmas;)

Baby Scare

As I have said many times, I have constant anxiety that something will go wrong during this first trimester. There are many things that can go wrong during an entire pregnancy, but I've been focused on these next few weeks more than anything. So, as a first time expecting mother, I jump at every pain and worry about every cramp and this last Tuesday was no different. For the first time I experienced piercing pain unlike the other growing pains I have felt along the way. This pain was specific and was coming from the right side of my abdomen, where I had suspected my right ovary to be. So, of course, I googled every possibility. I know, maybe the wrong thing to do. None the less, it was official. I was convinced that I was having a tubal pregnancy. I did not sleep that night and first thing that morning I called my doctor's office to schedule an immediate ultrasound. Even though my concerns were viable, they had no room for an emergency appointment until after the holidays. Now, by this point I was no longer worried about the baby, but my own well being if this was in fact a tubal pregnancy, which can be very dangerous for a mother. Thankfully I was called back and they were able to squeeze me in to an afternoon appointment. Chris was able to get away from work and met me at the doctor's office. So, after a half hour appointment and many questions later, Chris and I walked away with this, our baby's first picture (the little blob to the left in the black bean looking circle, lol):

Our sweet baby is nestled safely in my tummy exactly where he/she should be. The heart beat is a strong 154 bpm and is 1.3 cm long, which is right on track. Research shows that if by your first ultrasound, the baby is not a week behind in those areas, then our chances for a miscarriage decrease significantly. But, again, we still have a long ways to go! The pains I was experiencing are gone now and I am fine. Also, we have found out our due date is two days before we were originally told. These past few weeks I've been starting a new week on Monday. Turns out my new week starts on Saturday, making me 8 weeks pregnant yesterday. Our new due date is set for July 7, 2012 - one day after Chris' father's birthday, who as you know, is struggling with cancer. Amazing how God works and how thankful we are :)

To my baby

Chris and I can not take all the credit to creating you, little bean. You were planned for us long before you were a vision in our dreams. For you were fearfully and wonderfully made by a creator who is a loving and merciful God and will forever hold you close to Him. May you know Him in ways beyond your own understanding.

Blueberries

Week 7: Plenty of good news. According to our nurses, my bought of morning sickness (which last through the whole day) is actually a good sign. It's a sign that my body and hormones are doing what they are suppose to be doing and morning sickness is actually a sign that my pregnancy is going well. This gives me a short sigh of relief as I am in constant worries of something going wrong in this first trimester.

In other good news, Chris' shot training went very well and is now allowed to give me shots from home. I was very impressed with the lack of pain and discomfort I was in during the whole experience :) Other than that, everything else is about the same. Vomit on the verge every waking hour of the day, the smelling power of a Chesapeake Bay Retreiver, and a bladder the size of a penny. Cravings include salty snacks: crackers and chips. Daily foods that don't upset my stomach include saltines, cottage cheese, pears, and appleseauce. Don't know if I'm proud to say that last night at 9 o'clock was my first run to the store to satisfy a craving that would not go away - for strawberry ice cream. I probably looked a little silly walking in to HyVee in my pj's and walking away with only one pint of strawberry and peach ice cream. I had the guts to park in the 'Expecting Mothers' parking spot closest to the entry, just for fun. Don't know how often I'll actually do that. Feels a little weird.

Little bean is now the super size of a blueberry. Most of the growth in concentrated in the head where brain cells are forming at a rate of 100 per minute. Eyelids are covering my baby's eyes in which they already have color. Baby's mouth and tongue are forming and so are his/her arms and legs. The tail is diminishing and will be completely gone in a few short weeks. Chris and I have our first ultrasound and OB appointment next week. I am very excited and very nervous. I hope everything looks the way it's suppose to!

New Development

So, I've been catching up on my reading about what to expect and tips for pregnancy, and there are some things I read that just sound ridiculous, such as some of these crazy symptoms someone may experience when pregnant. Well, starting today (maybe yesterday) I have suddenly obtained the super power of smell. Today at lunch, I was able to identify every coworkers meal choice as soon as it was opened, even though the microwave is 30 ft from me. Scents have become so strong, it's almost overpowering. I have learned the ability to breath through my mouth to avoid sniffing the many smells of the world (lotion, food, hair spray, even the smell of outside). Depending on what mood I'm in, these smells can be dangering. I can say that it definitely does not help a nauseous stomach!

On a different note, tomorrow Chris gets trained on how to give me progesterone shots. I am currently getting 2ml of progesterone twice a week to aid in supporting the growing baby. When getting blood work to confirm my pregnancy, they checked my hormone levels which came back low. So, currently I have to leave work twice a week to get these shots in which Chris will now be able to give me from the comfort from our own home. Needless to say, I don't know how I feel about it, although it will be more convenient. Chris on the other hand, is very excited about it. Then again, he is a medical nerd. I'll fill you in how it goes next post!

Baby Bean

I will admit, at some point I will probably show a couple of pics of the growing belly for my mom and sister who are countless hours away who will not be able to share in this experience with me as much as I would like. But, until I even show more than what looks like a bad case of over eating, I will spare you the 'show'. Now, on to the more miraculous (or T.M.I) details of our growing baby!

Week 6: So has begun the days of morning sickness and food cravings, and they are in full swing! With each passing day I become more and more nauseous with only a few foods that seem edible. I am not having any serious food cravings that are on going, but more of an instant impulsive food thought that doesn't seem to go away until I have it. For example: beef lo mein, Arby's french dip, mashed potatoes and gravy, and chocolate ice cream. Otherwise, just the mere thought of every day food, such as spaghetti or chicken, make me want to vomit (although I haven't yet, fingers crossed!). So far I've become very good friends with Campbell's soup and saltine crackers. 

It's been very difficult to mask my queasy belly from coworkers, as I have already been asked once if I'm pregnant when I admitted I couldn't eat my lasagna for lunch and had to switch to someone else's chicken noodle. My nauseated state so far starts as early as when I first wake up until I lay down to go to sleep. Thankfully it doesn't keep me up at night, but constant runs to the restroom to relieve my bladder definitely do - and my poor husband. 

I have already checked my list of no-no's, such as deli meat, caffeine, sushi, and of course alcohol. This may make the secrecy of pregnancy difficult to hide with close friends over the course of the next few weeks, or Chris will be drinking for us both! As for Chris, he has been amazing. Already going to the store for me and rubbing my back when I'm tired. I could get use to this treatment!

Now for our little miracle. He/she is currently the size of a lentil bean. The head has begun to take shape and facial features are beginning to mold. Baby bean currently looks like a sea monkey, tail and all, as arm buds are starting to sprout. As early as this week the gender of the baby is making it's choice, although obviously we won't be able to find out until way later. I'm okay with this, I just hope to make it that far, as the first trimester is the most fragile phase. We are currently looking for a doctor, preferably a female, as the doctor we had hoped for does not support our health insurance. We are considering a recommended OB-GYN at the Women's Hospital, but they won't see patients until they are in their 8th week of pregnancy. So we still have a ways to go.

Whew. It's been nice to get this all out, even though you won't read this until another 7 weeks. Wow, you'll have a lot of catching up to do! ;)

Eggo my Preggo

As I secretly start this blog, I cannot wait to share this exciting news with you all! Chris and I found out last week we are going to be a mommy and daddy! Surprise to us? Yes! Were we trying? NO! We were so shocked that we took THREE pregnancy tests to really confirm what we were seeing on those test strips. You can't see very well in the picture, but those are 6 red lines on those tests. And after a blood test last Monday, the truth is really starting to set in. Either way we were more than thrilled to find out the incredible plan our dear Lord has set before us! Now, it is still early. I will be 6 weeks pregnant tomorrow. As of right now, Chris and I are the only ones who know about the little miracle growing in my tummy. We have decided that it was best to keep the news to ourselves until we have past the first trimester where miscarriages are at the highest rate. So, until then, I will continue to share my experience in this secret blog until we are able to tell those we love this amazing news and then you can read how I've been handling pregnancy when I'm able to make this blog public!

With my mind spinning, I continue to pray every day for this incredible blessing. Whatever comes from this experience, I pray that my body and my soul are strong enough to endure what lies ahead of me. I pray for the health of my mind and body to create a safe and loving home for the next 9 months of my unborn baby's life inside my belly. I pray that I am able to enjoy every moment of this experience, whether it ends in joy or sorrow. And I pray that I give my Lord God my worries and doubts and rely on His plan for my life, for I know He will never forsake me. Amen.