After Giving Birth Joys

I was given this blog about pregnancy and all the interesting and funny experiences that come with it. Who ever writes this blog, is brutally honest but totally hilarious! I love it!

Check out this post about the joys of giving birth and the aftermath!
*Beware for explicit language and T.M.I!

Happily After Giving Birth – 10 Things They Don't Tell You

You know in the movies when the woman gives birth and they hand her a perfect, clean 3-month old movie baby? The husband puts his arm around her and they gaze lovingly into each others eyes? Ahhhh, the end. Well, here are just a few of things that can happen after the credits roll. Most of them aren't movie friendly so sadly, the don't get discussed unless you have really good friends that let you in on these little secrets. Not all of them happen to everybody but, chances are, one or more will be added to your new role as motherhood so don't be alarmed.

1. You will have a really heavy period. No matter how you give birth (c-section or va-j-j) you will have postpartum bleeding. This delightful discharge is called lochia and it sounds about as appealing as it is. It lasts as little as two to three weeks or as long as six weeks after birth. The best part is you're given giant, thunderpads in the hospital because you can't use tampons during this time (it can introduce bacteria into your healing uterus) so you have the added pleasure of feeling like a 15-year old girl from 1974.

2. Your crotch might be a mess. You may be dealing with a swollen, stitched up mighty mess that even Stephen King couldn't dream up. There are a variety of elixirs and contraptions to help ease the horror including sits baths, frozen bags of peas and a little water bottle that you squirt on yourself while you pee. In my experience I've found that it's best not to look – it was actually worse than I thought it would be. Dear God so bad.

3. You're still fat. You will need clothes after you've had this kid because you'll be sort of second trimester doughy for a while. This is yet another reason I hate those damn model asshats that are wafer thin 10 minutes after they've given birth because it isn't realistic. Everything is very different when you've had your tummy tuck during your elective c-section and you can hand your baby off to a nanny and have a personal trainer up in your face everyday. Pilates and brown rice my ass. Stupid starlets. Except Heidi Klum. I love Heidi Klum and that bitch earned her wings.

4. You might cry. A. LOT. Some women get off really easy with this one and don't ride the hormonal roller coaster after they've had a baby and to them I say "lucky, lucky whore". It doesn't help that it can run the gamut from absolutely nothing to full blown post partum depression so not everyone is sympathetic if you have the Niagara Falls boo hoos if they didn't. The other tricky thing is that you might not recognize how bad it was until you're out of it. It's best to have people that actually know you keep an eye on this one. If they tell you that you're losing it, you probably are so listen to them and go see your doctor. Nobody wins if you're miserable.

5. Your hair might fall out. I know. Don't you feel pretty now? So here you are all post partum and doughy and to add insult to injury you might start losing some of your hair. Here you were all excited about your luscious locks while you were pregnant, well, sorry Cinderella but the party is over and the hair fairy wants her glass slippers back. This is one of those wonderful hormone side effects that can come with giving birth. At least there will be less to worry about when pulling your hair up into your new-mom crack-ponytail.

6. Breastfeeding might be difficult. If you choose to breastfeed your baby, be prepared for a little bit of work. Not everybody has a smooth ride (me included) and it can be anything the soft, bonding vignettes they plaster all over "Breast is Best" pamphlets. The good news is once you're over the hump it's pretty maintenance free and you can never forget your baby's lunch on the counter. If you have an easy time of it, awesome! Don't brag though, you're liable to be beaten to death with Bugaboo strollers by hormonal mothers in the park.

7. You might hate your husband. I have two theories of nature. One, babies look like their fathers when they are born so the father is reassured that the baby is his and won't take off. Two, nature takes care of you not conceiving right after giving birth by making you want to punch in his face every time you see him. Again, it's probably hormone related. Again, this isn't always the case but I'm just warning you that you might stare at his peaceful sleeping face at 2am and wonder what the hell the point of him is and how can that son of a bitch just lie there sleeping like while you try to get your baby to sleep for the umpteenth time. You're not alone and a jury full of mothers with newborns wouldn't convict you if you bludgeoned him to death with a breast pump. That said, he may be worth keeping around so take a deep breath and ignore the urge......for now.

8. You might be hot. No, not good hot. Gross, sweaty, fat man hot. Thank your hormones. Once again they may be to blame for giving you hot flashes and making feel like a high-noon whore. Nothing says sexy like a woman with 20lbs of extra baby weight, who's losing her hair and walking around like she just ran for a bus. I'm adding that to my theory of nature's birth control along with number 7.

9. Hard boobs. You know those crazy porn boobs you see on some women that are just gigantic and don't move? No? Well, try skipping a feeding while you're nursing and you'll have a pretty good idea what that's like. It sounds cool but it isn't so don't add stripper heels to your registry....well, not for this reason anyway.

10. Pooing is scary. I saved the best for last, non? No matter what exit your baby used, your BM equipment is close by and you'll have to use it eventually. I think the phrase "tentative terror" best sums up this act and may I suggest picking out extra names because you're going to want to name your first poop after you take such tender care bringing into the world. Gross? Sorry. Fact? Yep.

Haven't I painted a pretty picture here? Aren't you looking forward to all the treats that come with motherhood? Well, thankfully, not all of them happen to everybody and you (and everyone around you) will be so focused on the new little person that you'll have little time or energy to worry about much else. And hey, who cares, you made a person. A whole person. It doesn't matter if you're a surly, bald, sweaty garden slug for a while, you just performed a miracle so unless you're booked to walk the runway in your underpants in two weeks, don't worry about it and tell anybody who says otherwise to eat shit. Hey, you can always blame it on your hormones.

http://www.pregnantchicken.com/pregnant-chicken-blog/2010/9/23/happily-after-giving-birth-10-things-they-dont-tell-you.html

Guilty Conscience

Ok, so after my little pity party yesterday in my previous post, I started to feel bad about not wanting to show off how proud I am of my growing baby. I do want to make it clear I am more excited for this baby and this experience than anything I've ever been in my life (other than marrying my amazing husband)! Above the toll that one's body takes during pregnancy, I love the special moments I have with my baby feeling him/her kick and move around. I love to sing and talk to baby bean and imagine how wonderful life will be with her/him. I love daydreaming of what our little miracle will look like and I look forward to many years of hugs and kisses! So, here is my growing bump:

I also forgot to add a picture of our bean and his/her newest side profile. Our 3D picture didn't turn out so well as the baby kept turning his/her head away from the camera. Little stinker. At our previous ultrasound (27 weeks) baby weighted exactly 2 pounds and was 14 inches long, putting our baby in the 60th percentile. So, hopefully this means that our baby won't be super big when born. I'm hoping for a good 7.5-8 lbs, but who will know for sure until the big day!

If you can't quite see it, the baby's face is on the left. You can see the whole half of his/her face, i.e. the eye, nose, chubby cheek, mouth, and chin. :)

10 week count down

I know it's been awhile since I have posted a new picture of myself, and there is a couple of reasons for this:

1. So far, I have put on a little more weight than I would have liked to and it seems to be going to all the wrong places!

2. I'm incredibly lazy.

That's pretty much sums it up. Now that summer is around the corner and warmer weather is already here, the fun effects of water retention are finally starting to settle in in this Nebraska humidity and I feel like I'm starting to look a little less like myself every day. Trust me, I know that "it'll all be worth it in the end" and "it'll go away once you have the baby" yadda yadda yadda...but for now, I just stay clear of mirrors and all cameras. I promise I will muster up the courage to "embrace this 'special' time in my life" and the baby weight that I am putting on and finally take a picture to update you on our little one. Because yes, I know, it's all about the baby anyways.

Since I no longer am doing weekly updates, I figured it would be easiest for myself to continue with previous posts regarding my/baby's stats:

Current Statistics:

Weeks: 30 weeks
Total weight gain: Moving on....

Cravings: Sweets. Deli sandwiches for lunch. Internet says that deli meats are to be a no-no, but my doctor said she isn't too worried about it. Therefore, it's on!
Food aversions: Thankfully, nothing. Or maybe not thankfully. Hmm.
Pregnancy Symptoms: Still have mid back pain, right between the shoulder blades. Foot cramps. Slight water retention.
Stretch Marks: Nothing I'm worried about.
Miss Anything: I never thought I'd say this, but hard work outs. You know, the kind where you just get your butt kicked and your soaking in sweat by the end. Don't quote me on this to remind me later.
Progesterone Levels: Levels have dropped back down, so I'm still on all my progesterone until further notice.
General Mood: Pretty good. I feel I've been lucky this pregnancy to not have been overcome with emotions (crying at the drop of a hat). Although my husband may say I lean a little more towards the bitchy side. I can't deny this statement.
Looking Forward to: My mom coming in a few weeks to start the nursery with me!!!!!

Baby Statistics:

Weight: 2-3 lbs
Length: 15-17 inches

Highlights this week: Baby bean has begun sticking just an arm or leg straight out and leaving it there. It was crazy the first day that I felt a tiny baby foot from the outside of my belly with my hand (I could tell it's a foot by the size). So now this is my favorite game. Feeling around my tummy for little hands and feet. It's a very easy and constant game as bean is always on the move and stretching out in his/her confined space.

Now, it's nothing like this and I don't see any imprints (this is not me in the picture).. Does anyone know if this picture is even real, as in, does this really happen??

Coming up: 30 week appointment tomorrow. Appointments have been moved to every 2 weeks. We're getting close!!!

Nesting

Only 11 more weeks to go and I have finally been able to start the nesting process! For the moment, Chris' brother Drew is currently living in what will be the nursery, but in just a few short weeks Drew will be moving downstairs and the real fun can begin! I am so excited as my mom will be in town for the first time since I've become pregnant and will help begin decorating the nursery with me. As you can imagine, decorating is not quite high on Chris' interest level, so it leaves lots of girl time for me and my mom! Yay!

We are limited on what we have for the baby room, and by limited I mean we have nothing, but today I bought my first nursery furniture!!! I am over the moon about my purchases! I have been looking for quite some time for pieces just like this, one dresser with room to act as a changing table and some kind of bench for some more places to sit other than the rocking chair. I was hoping to find items that we can refurnish, which is way less expensive and more fun to do. Lucky the items I found were quite the deal!!! They are a set and require minimal work as you can see for yourself:

Nothing that some sanding (off those stickers) and a fresh paint of coat can't solve! Perfect white furniture to go with a the white baby crib we have yet to own. I never thought I would want white furniture until I did gender neutral nursery searches for ideas and fell in love with the softness that white furniture adds to a beige colored room. It may sound boring and plain, but add some pops of gender related color and we have us a calm and serene baby room like these (although these do not have pops of color I plan to add i.e. curtains, pillows, wall decor):

More pictures on the progress to come!

Bump in the Night

Yes, it has almost been a whole month since my last posting and more weeks since then since any baby talk. I've been a little on the lazy side with updating, but not really much has been going on these past few weeks. My belly continues to grow and our baby continues to move and kick. His/Her most busiest moments are around 9-10, 3, and 6 o'clock.....at night/early morning. So it appears we have a little night owl on our hands. I have read that around this time I should be able to recognize our sweet one's sleep schedule. And that I do! He/She tends to be on the go for 3-4 days at a time, and then takes a day or two to nap it up and regain the energy to do it all over again. Chris has been able to have the opportunity to feel and watch the kicks and movements, although he doesn't think it's as amazing as I do. His exact words from the first time he saw my belly move was "That's creepy. Reminds me of the movie 'Alien' ". Hm. I was a little unsure on how to feel about this statement until I mentioned it to my doctor who says that those responses are actually quite normal, since the father experiences the pregnancy completely differently than the mother. Understood.

We have also begun our baby registry and let me tell you, it is quite the process! I mean, where to even begin with this thing?! I'm struggling with the idea that we will need all these super expensive items for our child. Yes, I understand the importance of the necessities such as a car seat, stroller, pack n' play, etc. But, does my child need BOTH a swing AND a bouncer? Should I get one of those seats that you can hook into your door frame for the baby to jump around in? What kind of walker should I get? And don't even get me started on swaddles, pacifiers, and baby creams. Ugh, and then there's this whole issue of 'gender neutral'. Chris and I's view of gender neutral are completely different. I love this man, but I don't think he quite gets the concept that it IS possible that we are not having a boy and not all blue, green, or orange colors are considered 'gender neutral'. I try to stess the fact that I would like to use what we can for future children, boy or girl to help in not being bias one way or another since I know the gender. Poor Chris. Love you, hunny.

And here is everything else....

Current Statistics:

Weeks: 26 weeks and 1 day

Total weight gain: 20 lbs

Cravings: Sweets. Anything under the moon. Pop. Specifically Cherry Coke Freezes and Root Beer. Chris got me some Strawberry Crush for my birthday a week ago. It was pure heaven.

Food aversions: Nothing really. But I have found out orange juice is out of the picture. Too much acid for the tummy.

Pregnancy Symptoms: Killer mid back pain. Easily tempermental gall bladder which causes severe pain under my right rib. Rib pain in general. Pregnancy Brain. Very itchy belly.

Stretch Marks: Not yet. Whew!

Miss Anything: Not going to lie, with all this warm weather I could really go for a margarita!!

Progesterone Levels: Still taking 800 mg of hormone a day with 2  200 ml's booster shots of hormone twice a week. Although my last blood test showed a spike in my levels which means that a decrease in hormone replacements could be in the horizon!! Fingers crossed!

General Mood: Well, for few weeks there things were pretty good. Now, I'm pretty cranky and exhausted from all these pregnancy pains :(

Looking Forward to: Our next ultrasound to see our sweet baby again!

Baby Statistics:

Weight: +/- 1 2/3 lbs.

Length: 12 - 14 inches

Highlights this week: Our baby's eyes are finally beginning to open. Sure there may not be much to look at, but he/she is beginning the process of blinking. Bean's hearing continues to improve and now he/she is able to respond to noises. It's also more fun to 'play' with baby, as the baby is able to 'feel' and respond to touch from the outside of the belly.

Coming up: 26th week ultrasound + gall bladder ultrasound, 28th week Dr. appointment + glucose test (which means I get to drink a not so yummy soda pop to test my sugar levels. Hooray.)

C and K news

Want to know what's been going on in our lives outside of our baby bump? Check out my update here:

 katiegotmarried.blogspot.com

Cravings

I am lucky enough to say that I have not had too many crazy cravings throughout my pregnancy. I have, however, had an increased need for sweets and sugar - all the naughty foods I should not be eating! Example: soda pop. Now, I have never been a big pop drinker. The effects of caffeine do nothing for me and really it just makes me feel crappy after drinking it. Well, now that I'm pregnant, my craving trumpet is blaring a different tune! Pop is all I want! I walk by a pop machine and I'm instantly craving a nice cold Dr. Pepper, Coke, Root Beer.....heck, I don't even care! I drive by a fast food restaurant and I have to give it my all to not turn in for a quick drink on my way home. Thankfully, because I have no will power in giving in to such cravings, lent was just around the saving corner. So, now I have 40 days to quit a habit that was never truly formed since pregnancy is not the best time to become addicted to such a bubbly and delicious thirst quencher.
So, instead, I'll stick to my tried and true.

Vanilla ice cream whipped up with Hershey's chocolate syrup. Every night.

That's better than pop, right? I'll continue to tell myself that.